You

Impossible to begin
Describing what has no end
Your eyes tell me forever...


How do I describe this? Words are so inadequate when it comes to you. I am definitely not at a loss for words, but at a loss for adequate words. What human word could I start with in attempt to come close to touching on the subject of you... and the emotions flooding over me? Joy. Hmm, overused. Hope. Same problem. But both ring so true right now. It's like I am feeling those feelings for the first time. As if I finallyyy comprehend the actual meaning.


I have never known what it feels like to have a man, a guy, a boy, a dude (who is not my family) touch me with no ulterior motivation... With no "goal." I have never felt a touch from a male without feeling a motive... External motive. Particularly sexual. For the first time, I felt a touch, touches- incessant touches- with intent. An intent to touch and just that. An intentional, deliberate touch. Goal- to feel my skin. Goal- to say "I'm here." Goal- to express appreciation. Goal- compassion. The way you touch... <sigh> It's the personification of ones' "happy place." I go there without having to go there when I feel the purpose of your finger tips. My skin reacts. My skin feels nourished; soft & strong ... Rejuvenated & real ...


Peace. Serenity. Immediate and instinctive reaction from your touch. From your eyes. From your smile. Infectious. You expel infinite positive energy that  penetrates the very soul of everyone who encounters you. I see it. I feel it. Your eyes... Dark eye lashes, that curl ever so slightly, perfectly lining your expressively deep eyes, expressing and giving insight into your thoughts, your heart. The truth is in your eyes. Everyone can see it. In turn, you look into me with those *eyes* Not through me, not even necessarily "at" me. But into me. As if to say looking "at me" isn't enough. You see me. I feel it. I love it. I see it back. I see you. Your eyes speak love. Warmth. Compassion. Drive. Determination. Those eyes- say what you know and what you crave. I see His love in you. You show it without even knowing it. Intent reflects from your dark, kind eyes. So deep, with so much to say. Your eyes speak for you more than you know. When your distracted, in thought, feeling loved or admiring. They show when you are watching someone intently, observing or about to fall asleep- aka: "day dreaming." :) They are unforgivably honest.


Your presence radiates peace. Your spirit is exuberant and beyond contagious. Everyone is drawn to you, wants closer, wants in. Your mere presence is like medication to those around you. You inspire. I feel it, I see it.


Strength is as a part of your being as your heart or your lungs. Strength in every sense of the word. Strength in your physical being. Your muscles. Ah. Solid. You stand firm- literally and figuratively. That is one of the most attractive things about you. Your physicality parallels your spirit :) 
You expel surety over me. I love it. I have never felt so safe, so secure and protected. Protected from physical harm, while safely shielding my heart with your meticulous care. Your strength resonates and encourages. It motivates you. Which motivates me. The strength is not a stand alone strength, but the gift given kind. The best kind. The strength only He can produce. You stand so firm.
When you hold me up against you... In your arms, against your chest.. Even holding your hand. In these moments I can't be touched. Can't be harmed or broken. I feel every ounce of love you have in you. You don't hold me in vain. You don't stand firm without meaning. You are protective without cause.


I see it in your sweat. You do everything 100%... The movement of your body, your muscles- So fit- determination in your face, reflection in your eyes. Unwavering.


You notice. You notice the details in people. You see what is beyond the surface. Intuition and intentional observation. All this I can relate to :) This I appreciate. You say what I'm thinking before I can form the words. Sometimes I feel as if we are seeing with the same eyes. Internalizing the same visions and interpreting the same thoughts!


... God is the BEST MATCH MAKER!! Is He not??? :)


Respect for me is not just words coming out of your mouth, or opening a door for me, but further- deeper than that! I can feel your respect physically in the ways- the many ways you touch me & in the ways you don't touch me. I see the deliberate respect presented in every movement when your around me and I don't doubt the respect is continued when you aren't around me. I feel it in your soft speech. In your every move. I see it in your intentions for me. For you. For your family. For your future family. 


I see the way you look at kids... Life is brought to your eyes just like mine. 


*YOU MELT MY HEART! My heart was made for you to melt it. Our hearts fit. At any given moment my body reacts to you. Heart racing. Body warm. Eyes wet. Knees weak. Face flushed. I didn't know hope could be felt physically. And love could provide hope... And physical healing along with an emotional and spiritual healing.




I am so deeply, madly in love with you. There is no doubt. Doubt has remained ever-present in my life, but not with you. Doubt has escaped me and I am letting it go, gladly. I have literally never felt anything so sure. I know God put us together. I am beyond thankful. I have thanked Him incessantly. I love you, Jamere.........




*Where have you been hiding?? Where have you been all my life? I do not doubt God's perfect timing. I don't even question it. But I can't help but wonder about the overwhelming amount of heart ache that could have been saved if I had only met you first. If I could have saved my all for you. My heart, my body... And yet, I did. There is an overwhelming appreciation I have for you. The amount of hurt I have experienced is exhausting. For almost 11 years I have endured heart ache from the opposite sex. I have been hurt, used, unappreciated (understatement), cheated, lied to, mocked, played... I even tried to do the same back. A bitterness and hardness persuasively attempted to overtake my heart. It knocked relentlessly at the doors of my heart. I pretended to let others in. Little did they know about the hard coated shell of my heart. The outside of my heart began to harden a little; enough. Just enough to promote protection. Just enough to have the upper hand. Just enough to prevent myself from feeling to the full extent I used to. But not enough to shut out. My heart was waiting for you. You melted it swiftly. I felt the warmth of- the feeling in- my finger tips and toes for the first time in.. a long time. The outer coating of my heart had begun to effect my whole body without me knowing. BUT, the contrast was imminently clear. The contrast of the cold versus warmth I could feel instantaneously. Penetratingly. I felt my body shift; give in without permission. Give in involuntarily. There was no fight in me. There is no fight in me against this. There is no fight against this. It's as if I don't even need mending. All the pain. The balled up fists. The lurking frown. The doubts. The pain. The heartache. The betrayal. The turmoil. The disrespect. The stolen joy. The guilt. The self-loathing. The past. It all not only brought me here, but allotted this feeling; these emotions. If there was nothing to contrast it, to contradict it would I feel it the same? Maybe. But probably not. The appreciation, the gratitude for you... Recognizing that you are a rarity. A uniquely beautiful you :) My GIFT! In receiving a gift, it's not something one had previously, it's something someone needs/wants. I have never had anything remotely close to you. You are a direct contrast to what I have experienced, what I have seen what I have felt. You are the opposing force. God gave me you.